Hundred Beast King GoLion

I love Voltron. He fights for great justice, carries a big sword, and doesn't talk much. He has all of Teddy Roosevelt's best qualities, the greatest American president of all time, but without the baggage of Manifest Destiny or conservationism. Voltron equals AWESOME.

As a kid, I watched the show after school whenever I got the chance, which wasn't very often. My babysitter and nemesis, a cruel hag whom we shall call Gina, was obsessed with watching her nefarious soap operas, and Voltron was on during the same time slot as Y&R. I hate Y&R A LOT...

Nevertheless, when I watched Voltron it was pure bliss. I would really get into the show, and I would scream at the television, "Form VOLTRON NOW!" Sadly, Voltron didn't obey my desperate pleas, and I had to repeatedly watch the Lions get their asses handed to them before they would remember that Voltron even existed. Keith was such a lame leader...

Despite my fanaticism for Voltron, I only had one lion: the yellow one. Play time consisted of running around with the Lion and, when things got tough, forming a massive leg that was totally ineffectual and clumsy. Battles generally ended in defeat because the lone leg was unstable and would fall over without support. When my "friends" came over they would ridicule my incomplete Voltron, and I remember many nights when I cried myself to sleep. I can still feel those hot bitter tears on my cheeks.

Voltron, wherever you are, know this: You were a source of much childhood joy and agony! I salute you!


Caution: This is not your parents' Voltron!


Voltron is a SELL OUT!